My Final Post: Tear Soup

It's been 18 months since I last wrote a review on The Book Nosher. Eighteen months without any explanation as to my silence. Only now do I feel I have the energy to explain the deep tragedy that happened to our family.

At the end of September of 2010, our oldest son Matthew phoned us from his university up in Bellingham to say that he had been quite sick and had been to the emergency room twice. They had ruled out various things, but he still wasn't feeling well. We decided to go up and get him, and thus began the most difficult three weeks of our lives. What initially masked itself as a severe case of pneumonia, was in fact a virulent form of strep that attacked his bi-cuspid aortic heart valve, which necessitated valve replacement surgery. But when they actually went in, they found the damage was far more extensive than they thought. And while Matthew survived the surgery (mostly due to his youth), he never regained consciousness. He spent the last week of his life in a coma, before he died on October 22.

I realize that this comes as shock to most of you who read The Book Nosher. And my silence has weighed on me more than you can know. Now, seventeen months later, I feel like I'm getting my voice back and I'm starting up a new blog called Grief & Gratitude. It's brand new, but here's a link if you want to check it out.

In closing out The Book Nosher, I wanted to have my final post be about a special book. The book I have chosen to write about is a picture book that is for both adults and children. It was given to me by a dear friend who has been a NICU nurse for the last 30 years, in the same hospital that Matthew died. She deals with life and death situations on a day to day basis. Tear Soup by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen deals with the subject of grief in a way that few "adult" books do. It's a wise book that gently explains how different people grieve in different ways.

In the story, Grandy has lost someone (unnamed) very dear to her and sets about preparing tear soup. "Grandy winced when she took a sip of the broth. All she could taste was salt from her teardrops. It tasted bitter, but she knew this was where she had to start." The book goes on as Grandy goes through the difficult stages of grief, always at her own pace, not someone else's. For me, this book summed up so many of the complex feelings that surround grief. It spoke to me when I first read it many months ago, and it continues to speak to me now. While I don't think this is a book for very young children, I do think that school-aged children would find it very helpful if dealing with a significant loss. The pictures are quite lovely, and the words very meaningful. Here's a sample from the last page as Grandy explains what she's learned from making her tear soup:

"I've learned that grief, like a pot of soup, changes the longer it simmers and the more things you put into it. I've learned that sometimes people say unkind things, but they really don't mean to hurt you. And most importantly, I've learned that there is something down deep within all of us ready to help us survive the things we think we can't survive."

Wise words indeed.

Thank you to all of you who read The Book Nosher. I still think children's books are the best!

Mockingbird

Mockingbird
Written by: Katheryn Erskine
Recommended Ages: 9 and up

Mockingbird was published about a month ago and I think it may be a contender for some future awards. It's a poignant story with complex, well-developed characters whom you immediately want to get to know better. Although, you should be forewarned, the background story about a horrific school shooting may be difficult for some kids.

Caitlin is a fifth-grader who lives alone with her dad. Her beloved brother, Devon, was recently killed in a tragic middle-school shooting, and she and her dad are barely coping in the aftermath. Caitlin also has Asperger's syndrome. It is through this lens that we hear her story of how this small family deals with life after "The Day Our Life Fell Apart," and ultimately gets some closure.

When we first meet Caitlin, she has no friends, although she has a very good relationship with the school counselor, Mrs. Brooke. Mrs. Brooke is trying to help Caitlin learn to read other people's emotions, as well as make friends. Through her, she makes her first friend in Michael, a first-grader. Caitlin's voice is loud and clear throughout the book, and we watch as she struggles to try and understand what people really mean, as she often takes what they say at face value. When she hears someone talk about the need for closure on the shooting, she looks up closure in the dictionary ("the state of an emotional conclusion to a difficult life event such as the death of a loved one"), and is determined to find closure for her and her dad. The book follows Caitlin in this quest, which is a very literal one at first, but one that ultimately succeeds on different levels in the end.

I think that kids will relate to Caitlin. They'll want her to succeed, even though in the beginning they may not understand her. She is different, and they'll see that other kids perceive her as "weird," since she does things like suck her sleeve when she's nervous. But they'll also come to love her personality and understand that everyone has special talents, even if they are not always evident at first.

I'm not going to give away anything else about Mockingbird, although I realize I have left out so many wonderful things about the book. Caitlin, her dad, Mrs. Brooke, her first friend Michael and her brother Devon are memorable characters that you feel like you know well by the end of the book. Life, death and the long and painful road to healing are addressed in heartwarming, difficult and sometimes very funny ways. I highly recommend Mockingbird; it stays with you long after you read the last sentence.

Love, Ruby Lavender: A Fabulous Middle Grade Read Aloud

Love, Ruby Lavender

Written By: Deborah Wiles
Recommended Ages: 8-12

I somehow missed Love, Ruby Lavender when it was first published in 2001, but I'm pleased to have discovered it nine years later. It's a delightful story that begs to be read aloud by a parent or a teacher, or heard on an audiotape. Its humorous, engaging style will appeal to boys and girls alike.

Ruby is a nine-year-old girl who lives with her mom and her grandmother-Miss Eula-in Halleluia, Mississippi ("Population: 400 good friendly folks and a few old soreheads"). Ruby and Miss Eula are very close to each other, especially since the accident that took her grandpa's life last summer. The book opens up with a hilarious rescue scene of three old hens from Peterson's Egg Ranch, concocted by Ruby and Miss Eula. These hens (Ivy, Bemmie and Bess) play a big part throughout the book, and Ruby's love for them is quite touching, as she watches over them fiercely and reads to them from the dictionary.

When Miss Eula announces that she is going to Hawaii to visit her son and daughter-in-law and new baby, Ruby is visibly distressed. The letters back and forth between Ruby and Miss Eula are priceless and do a fantastic job of showcasing their voices. Wiley has really nailed these two characters down, and it's a true pleasure to read their letters to each other.

Despite being stuck in boring Halleluia, Mississippi for the summer (without her grandmother), a lot seems to happen in Ruby's life. She meets the new teacher and his wife--Mr. Ishee and Tot, who move to Halleluia, and have their nine-year-old niece Dove visiting them for the summer. There's Ruby's nemesis, Melba Jane, who lost her dad in the same accident that took Ruby's grandpa's life. Their relationship with each other is not easy, and there's a mystery about the accident that casts a long shadow over both girls. Yet each of them experiences tremendous growth throughout the book, which is handled in an understated way. And finally, there are those chickens that pop up at different times throughout the story.

Love, Ruby Lavender is full of silly moments, quirky characters, and great depth, too. Kids will like Ruby's feistiness, independence and big heart as she learns how to navigate the summer without her beloved grandmother. Like Ruby, they will see that "life goes on." It's a quick read that manages to stay with you after you turn the last page.

BookNosher Tidbit: Love, Ruby Lavender has won the following awards (taken from Deborah Wiles's website):

• An American Library Association Notable Book for Children
• An NCTE Notable Book in the Language Arts
• A Booksense '76 Pick
• A Capitol Choices Noteworthy Book for Children
• One Hundred Titles for Reading and Sharing, New York Public Library
• Children's Literature Choice List
• Parent's Guide Children's Media Award
  Nominated for SEBA's best children's book of the year
• Nominated for a total of 26 state book awards including the Vermont Student book award, the Rhode Island Student book award, the North Carolina Children's Book Award, the Massachusetts Children's Book Award, the New Hampshire "Great Stoneface" Children's Book Award, the Utah Children's Book Award, the Kansas William Allen White Children's Book Award, the Oklahoma Sequoyah Children's Book Award, the Illinois Rebecca Caudill Young Readers' Book Award, the Indiana Young Hoosiers Book Award List, the Connecticut Nutmeg Children’s Book Award, the Virginia Young Readers Program, Minnesota Maud Hart Lovelace Book Award, the Tennessee Volunteer State reading list, and the California Young Reader Medal.

Stone Fox

Stone Fox
by John Reynolds Gardiner
Recommended Ages: 7-12

Stone Fox holds a special place in my family. It was one of the first chapter books all three kids read on their own. They loved the story, even though they were teary at the end.

Little Willy lives with his grandfather on a potato farm in Wyoming. The story begins with the grandfather taking to his bed, quite ill and unable to talk. Willy is concerned but manages to continue on with the chores. One day the tax collector visits them and Willy finds out they owe $500 in back taxes, or they will lose their farm.

So little Willy tries to figure out how to raise the $500. He talks to the bank, his teacher and the general store manager, and receives the same advice from everyone: Sell the Farm. But he's determined to keep the farm in the family. When he's at the store he sees a poster advertising the National Dogsled Race in Jackson Wyoming, with first place prize money of $500. This prompts him into action. He and his dog Searchlight will enter the contest and win the prize money.

For the next week, little Willy and Searchlight go over and over the 10-mile track. Even after a brief encounter with Stone Fox and his five Samoyeds, who are the clear favorites in the race, little Willie and Searchlight plod on, determined to win the $500. Stone Fox is a Native American who has always won the race. They say that he uses the prize money from the races to buy back land so that his people, the Shoshone, can return to their homeland.

The day of the race comes, and I'm not going to say anything further. Suffice it to say, it's a page-turner and a heartbreaker. You won't be disappointed. If your child is reading this alone, I recommend you be on hand. It's a sad ending, but one sure to generate rich conversation.

I think this would be a great book for a third or fourth grade class to read aloud. As I said before, there's a lot to talk about afterward, and little Willy is a strong character who shows determination and grit in the face of adversity. The ending is powerful and there are a few heroes to celebrate.

BookNosher Tidbits: Stone Fox has a few notable mentions including:
a 1981 Notable Book Children's Literature Council of Southern California
1987 Maud Hart Lovelace Reading Project - Minnesota Book Awards;
1987 George G. Stone Center for Children's Book Recognition of Merit Award

BookNosher Activities: There are a lot of sites devoted to classroom activities and Stone Fox. This one from Mountain City Elementary School in Tennessee is comprehensive, and offers both academic and fun activities.

A Picture Book That Deals With Death

Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs by Tomie dePaola is a picture book for preschoolers that deals with death in a gentle and age appropriate way. Recommended for young children who are dealing with the death of a grandparent or other family member, it's also a good book to have on hand when children start asking questions about death.

Little Tomie goes to his grandparent's house every Sunday. There he visits his grandmother who is usually downstairs in the kitchen (Nana Downstairs), as well as his great-grandmother who is upstairs in bed (Nana Upstairs). The time he spends with Nana Upstairs is precious. They share mints and she tells him stories about the "Little People" (She's Irish).

One day, Tomie is told that Nana Upstairs has died. He asks "what's died?" His mother explains that "Died means that Nana Upstairs won't be here anymore...Except in your memory." Tomie is naturally very upset, especially when he sees the empty bed. Later on he sees a falling star in the sky, and believes it's Nana Upstairs sending him a kiss.

The pictures depict a wonderful family life for little Tomie and his two Nanas. Small details such as combing out Nana Upstairs' beautiful white hair, and Nana Downstairs twisting her own into a bun are heartwarming and lovingly drawn. Even when he hears the news of Nana Upstairs, you know that Tomie is surrounded by a loving family who will help him deal with his grief.

This was a much read book in our house when my children were young. In the course of two years, they lost both a grandmother and a grandfather, and Nana Upstairs & Nana Downstairs gave them much comfort. I highly recommend it.